A groom in Chongqing once stopped traffic when friends tied his wrists and led him down a busy street in women’s underwear. Some passers-by were so alarmed that they called the police, fearing a kidnapping or a loan-shark shaming. It was one of at least three such incidents reported within weeks of one another, and all of them came out of “nao dong fang”, the Chinese custom of pranking the newlyweds.
The name means roughly “disturbing the bridal chamber”. The games were meant to be playful. In recent years the focus has moved to the “nao”, the ruckus, and the pranks have grown rougher and more public.
What the games look like
Alongside the Chongqing case, a groom in Shaanxi was tied to a tree, splashed with animal blood and then sprayed with a fire extinguisher. In Shandong, a groom was taped to a lamp post and had firecrackers set off beneath him. There were also reports of brides and bridesmaids being groped during “naughty” games.
Most couples never go that far. In Singapore, the games usually stay close to home: a stag or hen night, or a round of challenges at the door or after the banquet. One businessman from Anhui recalled his wedding dinner about a decade before the original report. Friends hung an apple on a string and kept lifting it, so that the couple had to “kiss” while trying to bite it without using their hands. The games ran past midnight, for more than three hours.
By then he and his wife were tired from days of preparation. They wished the games would end, but he felt it would not be gracious to lose their tempers on the big day.
Why couples go along
The reasons for playing along were mostly social. A courier whose wife was tossed in the air by friends at their 2008 wedding said a wedding with no pranks might seem dull, or suggest that the couple were not popular. Because friends usually organise the games, refusing can feel like rejecting the friends.
Some people remember them fondly. A property agent from Guangxi was made to squat and pull more than 20 toothpicks out of an apple held near her husband’s groin. She said it was the couple’s last chance to go wild before taking on the roles of wife and husband. In her view, a wedding is important enough to deserve memories like that.
The custom is widespread even among people who do not enjoy it. A China Youth Daily survey of 21,000 people in 2014 found that 80 per cent of respondents had been pranked at their weddings, yet more than half said they disliked the practice.
Where it came from, and why critics object
Folk custom experts trace nao dong fang to the Han Dynasty, more than 2,000 years ago. Many marriages were arranged then, and the couple might not have met beforehand. The teasing was meant to ease the tension and help them relax. Other accounts add that it was believed to ward off evil spirits.
A Beijing-based folk customs expert said the original purpose had been lost. Pranksters now focus on creating a ruckus, she said, and social media spreads the pictures quickly, so the excesses get more attention. She felt there was less restraint than before and that the practice had lost the essence of the original custom.
Online, the reaction was sharp. Some commenters joked that they no longer wanted to marry. Others asked what year it was and called for the government to step in. The expert doubted that a law could work and thought education was the only realistic route.
How officials responded
As it turned out, local authorities did act, though not through a national law. By May 2019, ABC News reported that Shen county in Shandong had made stripping grooms, tying them to trees or poles, and dousing couples with eggs, beer or sauce into punishable offences. The report said neighbouring Rizhao had announced its own crackdown, and that China’s Ministry of Civil Affairs had urged local governments to regulate “vulgar” wedding customs, including hazing.
In 2021, the Shandong city of Zouping issued a notice banning “vulgar behaviour at weddings” and calling for the reform of wedding traditions. The South China Morning Post reported that the notice said police would punish such behaviour and that it could amount to a criminal offence. The notice urged people to turn the pranks into “civilised blessings”, and the report said the Chinese public widely applauded the policy.
The Star reported in November 2024 that authorities were still trying to stamp the practice out. A government-affiliated newspaper in Shandong had written that vulgar wedding pranks are a misinterpretation of customs, not customs themselves.